(June 1st, 2008 )

Ivy was a fan of the series, not me…I was more of the fiction freak than the reality..but I must admit that watching the flick felt good …i believe for women who had a lot of things in their way.

It was nice watching ‘female norms”…and felt good knowing that what I went through was universal. “Things happens for a reason”…that is one thing we should accept, regardless of what gender is, no matter how unbelievable it is. Like Carrie said, “things just happen…no matter how she did not believe it…and our lives will continue if we decide it to…and happiness is more of a choice rather than a destiny”

And just contemplating..my last entry was in 2007 and I couldn’t lift a finger to write a blog again because pride stopped me..it didn’t want me to become so transparent again.. feared that it will send wrong signals…but then again, it has been 5 months…and I couldn’t care less anymore.

Tomorrow is already june 1, and as much as I wanted to leave (talk about rescheduled appointments), God had other plans for me. The opening school year will be different from now on..that I know. The last semester and summer was a struggle for me, whether I speak of it or not..and as to able to have survived it all..i believe I did.

Am I stronger now? Happier now?…i believe I am…so as I will be missing a lot of what I poured my emotions for. The new semester offers a new start…a fresh one…looking back at what I had will always be the measurement of my becoming a better mentor…and looking back will always be a good measure of my happiness.

And to the million dollar question every eye pokes when I am around….yes, everything is OK.. things may not be the way they are but trust me…it is ok. Whatever it was, it’s already in it’s right place…and because of time, it seeks and will seek nothing anymore. I will always look back to what it made me smile for., every reason I could remember..because those are the things that should be thought of (nothing else should be pondered more)…how I shared my profession and my students with…nobody has come close to playing around with my students whether during my lectures or my duty …no one has come close to making me laugh with the surprises at work ….and no one has come close to my want to challenge another wit and my want to tease because it is necessary to break the arrogance …….these I have to admit..i do acknowledge everything. I don’t throw away the good stuff, .i learn from what is not. Things are new now and it may soon become unnoticed just like it was before…surprisingly, the last sight made me smile….and it will make me smile… I believe .

The new semester breaks me away from the comfort group I had. Funny, knowing that I was them in 2 semesters and just when I was single and free that I was able to enjoy the genuine friendship with them…friendship that was not even planned. Knowing them was unexplainable and the feeling is indescribable..that kept me interested and enjoying what I had at work:

· Ivy – nope she is not part of the DOMENG team but she has been one of the best friends I ever had. Met her back in nursing school when I needed a lab gown and a sorority friend knew her. She has been my strength a times I lost myself. The first time she had to pull me was when I was in MN class all lost and …wandering. She will always be an ally…whatever or whoever will temporary set us apart.

· Donna – the loud, funny and loving friend I have. It took one coffee at “Kopi Roti” to realize that we can actually be more than just co-workers. She is the joy of the group and her absence will really make us miss her. Her mouth is unstoppable and there will be no other person who can come close to make us all laugh. It will only be HER. But she turned out to be really special and knowing her made me regret that I stopped my self reaching out to them before. Circumstances made me do that.

· Jo Irene – the person having the odd laughter. she was my classmate but we weren’t that close like now. Jo is sweet and “mataray “ at the same time. She warned me..i did not listen..she continued to warn me..i refused still to listen.hehehe… she is the has no talent in hiding what she feels that who could snap at you if she didn’t like you and that makes her really special.

·Brok – the pretty and the most dainty, id like to believe. Simple life..simple thoughts..classic principles…and fabulous comic act.. she is the friend you read in novels..always emotional on things..gets upset but would rather be silent… she substitutes donna when she is not around.

· Charisse- “ ang inchik”…I couldn’t say anything else. The toddler whose height is 6 plus…who shrieks coz she is fat when she is size 24 and screams because she’s dark already when she is the lightest among us…haaayyy….she talks 500 words per minute…plays anything that is fun and snaps at something that is offensive to her. She is the baby among the group…who we love to annoy a lot.

· Rose Tuloy – i tell her my emotions at the most odd places..like during CHN duties or COPAR..weird…we do not hang out much outside the workplace ..and that’s understandable..but the friendship will always be special. We exchange notes and emotions…and learn always. She’s the voluptuous among the group …and the sassiest.

· May – ok we call her “gerzon”..i like calling her gerzon..hehehe..who wouldn’t notice her..the stature and the eyerbrows..and the sharp tongue. .she is the most mature among us, no one would contest that…always reminds us of our age. Her words pacify our immatureness often..and somehow, our jokes makes her calm in her anger. She is motherly and funky at the same time..hehehe…we make her young..period.

· Topen: the male counterpart of charisse. He will make fun of anything and EVERYTHING he sees..including US..and it will just make us laugh. He substitutes donna in her absence..and whose energy is always on the rise. Sweet..goodlooking..funny and stress-free person who is serious about his plans in life….

· Haidee – adopted from Paolo’s group..mataray pretty mom who listens to me and tells me things at the right time..ninang ako ng baby nya..hehehe

· Malou – it was her that I have when I ran away from reality just to escape everything…what she had was incomparable to what I went though..and it made me strong. She is the pretty mom with a tiny physique but with the strongest personality because of what she had. She panicks for me..hahaha…even at time I wouldn’t even regard panicking about.. but it’s nice and heartwarming

· Princess – the “out of this world” lady who gets anything because of her style and unique ilongga “style”..she will make you laugh and wonder what you laughed about

· Polly – she laughs, laughs loud..laughs without poise..than she asks suddenly what we are laughing about and what she is laughing about…funny and bubbly and always smiling..yup that’s her…always there to listen and to comment when we needed it badly

· Janet – has her own world..but I remember sharing time with her before…during on of the duties..she is special..and a loyal friend..she is fierce and it’s not bad at all

· Domeng – the reason all of the girls above became friends……he is friend even before..he doesn’t give advices when I need it because he thinks I can always manage things…it is when I am sober and strong that he give his thoughts for me…

And there are other more friends who is of the same degree of being special to me like them…but these people I will miss because I will no longer be in the same schedule with them…though I will see them still often. I will miss having lunch with them all ..or merely having a headache planning where to go during lunchbreaks.

Life gave me something I never imagined possible…it taught me something I wouldn’t have learned alone…it made me clear to me what I want and maed me rememeber what I did not….

New life..new students..new supervisor friends…Haven’t even started but they already made me interested…..that it made me write again.

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